The Crabgrass Principle

I served my mission in East Tennessee, where the grass is green and the people don't have a lot of trouble keeping it that way.  Things just grow there - in abundance.  It's a beautiful, beautiful place and having a beautiful, well manicured yard is a top priority for the folks that live there.  One night near the end of my mission my companion and I went with the Ward Missionary leader to visit a recently baptized member of the ward.  As we visited with her, he shared a principle that has had a great impact on me, and this week - 9 years later - I found myself finding answers to current strugglings within this principle.  I'm going to get into how this affects my life in my next post, but I want to dedicate this post solely to an explanation of what I call the Crabgrass Principle.

For all intents and purposes I will call our Ward Mission Leader Brother Bradley.

One summer, Brother Bradley had a problem with crabgrass in his lawn.  He tried everything to get rid of it.  He tried chemicals and they didn't work.  He tried digging up the problem areas and they would just grow back, stronger than ever, and bring new little crabgrass babies along for the ride.  He found himself focusing on this and becoming quite frustrated as it seemed that no matter what he tried, the crabgrass wouldn't go away.  Then one day he had an idea.

"What if . . . " he said "what if I focus on nurturing and supporting the good grass that surrounds the crabgrass?  What if I make sure it's thoroughly watered and tended to with the proper nutrients?  What if I forget about the crabgrass and just try to make my good grass as strong as it can be?"

So he did that.  And guess what happened?  The crabgrass disappeared.

As Brother Bradley explained that night, and as I have come to realize time and time again, this story can relate to our lives and how we deal with the various problems and trials that we face.  When we focus our efforts on adding good, nurturing, uplifting practices into our lives, we will find that the bad things just don't have room to grow.  They are pushed out by all of the goodness that is growing in and around us.  Rather than focusing on what we need to eliminate from our lives, we can focus on what we need to incorporate.  It's such a simple concept, but it is so true and so powerful.

During that missionary visit, and as I have shared this principle in various wards over the years, the principle was used in correlation with Gospel principles.  When we fill our lives with good things such as scripture study, prayer, serving our neighbors and attending our meetings, the adversary doesn't have room in our lives.  He is pushed aside by all of the goodness that is growing in and around us.  Sin doesn't have room to grow.  And the real key, the really important part of this principle, is that not only do those sinful behaviors have no room to grow, they are not given the attention that they need in order to grow.

Let's say I struggle with pornography.  A powerful addiction that is not only detrimental to the addict but also to their loved ones.  Something that causes immense amounts of shame and self hatred - especially to someone who is trying to live according to the standards of the church.  Can you imagine the feelings of guilt that a 14 year old boy must experience every time his priesthood leaders stand and speak of the sin that is pornography?  He feels awful.  He feels like a failure.  He feels that he has no control.  He feels hopeless.  He's tried time and time again to stop the behavior, to repent of his sins.  He confesses and tries so hard NOT to look at pornographic images or videos, but his body is a raging machine of hormones and time and time again he falls prey to the mass marketing that he is surrounded by on gaming websites, in his email, and even on Facebook.

He focuses all of the attention he possibly can to NOT engaging in the behavior.  It's wrong.  It's bad.  It's destroying his life.

But what if he approached it from another angle.  What if he set a goal to study his scriptures every night and in his studies to simply enjoy the basic teachings of the gospel.  What if in his prayers he gave immense amounts of thanks to his Heavenly Father for the good things in his life.  What if he attended his church meetings - and in those church meetings his leaders taught him about the goodness of the Gospel and the importance of proactive behavior in our lives.  What if they praised him and his colleagues for all of the wonderful things that they were doing.  What if . . . ?

Would this addiction - his own person crabgrass - have room to grow?

My hope - and my belief - is that it would not.  I am not an expert, and I know that pornography can be a powerful addiction, but I feel that this is only true if we let it be so.  The light will always overpower the dark.

I'll say it again.  The light will ALWAYS overpower the dark.  It is a universal law.  Darkness is the absence of light.  Void is the absence of matter.  Finish this sentence: "The idle mind is the _______'s _________."

The crabgrass doesn't have room to grow in a field full of strong, healthy, well cared for grass.  And it's the little, daily things that count.  If you want to bring a dead or dying lawn to life, you cannot water it non-stop for days on end and expect it to come to life.  You cannot dump pounds of fertilizer on it and expect it to flourish.  You cannot expose it to immense amounts sunlight and expect it to perk up.  It takes time.  It takes consistency.  It takes patience.  It takes LOVE.  You HAVE to LOVE the good grass.  Focus on it.  Praise it.  Nurture it.  Love IT and IT alone.  Forget about the crabgrass.  What crabgrass?  The crabgrass doesn't own or control the good grass.  It is a separate entity that only matters if we let it matter.

There is nothing wrong with you.  The crabgrass is not a part of you.

Can you tell how much I love this principle?  I could go on and on.  But it is my sincere hope that this principle will continue to spread.  I knew it was a keeper when 2 or 3 years after I had shared it in Sacrament Meeting I was out one night with a guy in my ward.  During a deep discussion about living the Gospel he told me this really cool story about a guy getting rid of his crabgrass.  I let him finish and then I chuckled a little and said "I know.  I'm the original story teller.  I knew the crabgrass guy and his name was Brother Bradley.  I brought the story back from Tennessee".

That's when I knew this was a good principle and that it deserves to be shared time and time again.

I hope that you will take this principle and incorporate it into your life.  Not only your spiritual life, but your work life, your home life, your marriages and partnerships, your pursuit for health and well-being, your family life.  Focus on the good and you will receive good in return.

I'll close with my favorite lyrics ever.  From Bjork - All is Full of Love (words in parentheses added by me).  She speaks of recognizing the love that surrounds us.  This song is so important to me.

You'll be given love.  You'll be taken care of.
You'll be given love.  You (just) have to trust. 

Maybe not from the sources you have poured yours (into).
Maybe not from the direction you are staring at. 

Twist your head around.  It's all around you.
All is full of love.  All around you. 

All is full of love.
You just ain't receiving.
All if full of love.
Your phone is off the hook.
All is full of love.
Your doors are shut.
(but) 

All Is Full of Love.