DO
NOT
OPEN
THIS
DOOR
Bet you can't guess what we all wanted to do every time we saw that door? :)
That door taught me an important lesson that I know each and every one of us has learned and coped with time and time again. We always want what we can't have. Especially if "Don't do this!" is printed in big bold letters. It happens with kids every day. They could care less about what's in the bag in the closet - unless you tell them NOT to look in the bag. And then suddenly getting a peek at that bag is a matter of great importance.
I had a realization about a week ago. A realization that has the potential to help me put some pretty serious demons (ie crabgrassy little devils that taunt me every day) to rest. Here it is: If I want to stop eating crabgrass, I need to stop paying so much attention to it and instead focus on the things that will drive it away. Here's a bit of back story for you:
I realize that this is a blog and that while the majority of my audience is probably made up of people I know and see on a regular basis, some of you may never meet me in person. If you met me in person you would see that I have a fabulous figure ;). I've been carrying around quite a few extra pounds since I became an adult. My weight has fluctuated, but it gradually increased until I peaked at 280 pounds about 4 years ago. Then in June of 2010 I went on a very strict diet and lost 40 pounds over the course of about 4 months. I had a new spring in my step and I felt great. But life happened and I chose to pick those pounds back up, one by one, until I had reached 283 pounds in January of this year. So I hopped back on my diet and dropped the pounds again - reaching the 45 pounds lost mark in April. Here are some victory photo's for your enjoyment (and so I can remember how awesome I am for a minute :)
July 2011
May 2012
I look awesome, right!? It's cause I am. It's my middle name, remember? But I digress. I really love the eating principles that I used in order to reach my goal thus far, but come mid may, I found myself having a really hard time sticking to the plan, and I have gone up and down the same 5-10 pounds over the last 2 months. It's been really frustrating and downright discouraging at times. But that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is to explain how I am going to continue from here on out.
The diet that I have been on up to this point was very restrictive. I had to stay on a very restricted meal plan, or I would kick my system out of the fat burning state and it would take a few days to get back to that state. I literally went for weeks at a time staying strictly on plan, and it paid off. Dramatically. The reward is so noticeable and so immediate that it really wasn't very difficult to do. But I always knew in the back of my head that I couldn't eat certain things, or else . . .
And when I was confronted with a piece of candy or a co-workers home baked cookie, I always said no. But then I would remember that item for the next little while, and I would remember how I couldn't have it. And while I knew why I couldn't have it, and I was proud of myself for resisting, I was still tempted. But I managed to push those temptations away until I lost steam in the end of April and start of May. I managed to ignore the crabgrass and keep it at bay until it overran my internal dialogue and hijacked my focus.
Over the last several weeks as I have struggled, I have found myself fixating on the things that I can't have. I will push the temptation away initially. But then it comes back a few hours later, sometimes bringing buddies along. "I can't have that" I tell myself. "I'm stronger than that. I'm better than that. I don't want to mess this up." But the temptation will build and build until I cave and end up eating A LOT of the given temptation.
Then, about a week ago, it hit me.
What if instead of worrying so much about the foods that I can't have, I focus on the foods that my body needs and enjoys? What if there is no restricted foods list? What if I replace the restricted foods list with a required foods list? What if . . . ?
I imagine the dialogue in my head going something like this:
I am presented with the option to enjoy a small bowl of ice cream at the end of the day. I ask myself if I can have it by running down my mental checklist of goals:
Have I eaten lots of fruit and vegetables today (I'm shooting for 5 servings)? - check
Did I drink lots of water today [about 150 ounces(yes - this is not a typo!)]? - check
Did I eat healthy protein and carbs with each meal? - check
Have I taken Lucas for a walk yet? - check
Am I bored, depressed or lonely? Do I want the ice cream for emotional reasons? - nope.
OK, go ahead and enjoy!
I have found immense amounts of relief as I have adopted this philosophy. The last item on the check list is a tricky one that I'll probably blog about at some future time, but I can feel the wheels in my head coming together as I focus on what I can and should be having instead of focusing on what I cannot and should not be having. I truly love fruits and vegetables and I have found myself anticipating my next healthy meal. I WANT to eat, because when I eat, I am fulfilling a goal. Eating isn't a chore anymore. I plan ahead and look forward to it. I have always been the competitive type, and I believe that this strategy is going to take advantage of that. Give me a list of things to do and I will take great pleasure in ticking off the items on that list.
So there you have it. The crabgrass principle changing my life nearly 10 years after I first heard it. I'm pretty excited about it all. I hope that some of this excitement can carry through to you - whatever your goals may be at this time. Just remember that the most effective wishes, dreams, hopes, desires, and goals are always pointed towards the addition of something. You cannot wish for the absence of something. Change your internal dialogue from "I wish I could lose weight" to "I am healthy. I am strong. I can . . . no, wait . . . I AM doing this"
I am healthy.
I am strong.
I am awesome. ;)
Nice. I think I will go and eat something healthy right now, in your honor.
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